I now have more in common with my elderly neighbors. I've fallen and I couldn't get up.
How to fall like a special whoops bunny (my nickname given by the lovely Joey):
1. Walk into the shower, nearly slip - but catch yourself.
2. Go about your shower, creating a nice yet unnoticeable lining of slippery soap on the floor.
3. Go to shave your legs - or do anything requiring...well standing, preferably on one foot.
4. Suddenly-and inexplicably- start to slip (backwards...then forwards... then just wobble) and land on your side on the floor.....of the shower.....when you're 21 years old.
5. Lay still for a few seconds, wondering to yourself what the hell just happened - also contemplate your possible life expectancy at this rate.
6. Exit shower
7. Google "Concussion symptoms"
2/21/12
Magazines- also dangerous
The universe is apparently telling me I should clean my house.
This morning I was quickly running out of time to get to work so I go to put my shoes on, slip on a magazine (they're very slippery fyi), knocked over half of a shelf of stuff and landed on my knee- painfully. I actually had to sit there for a second before being able to move. Now if it's in the perfect spot, it kind of burns. Only me.
I did just about the same thing last summer. I walked out of the bathroom (same scenario as this morning) and slipped on a blanket, sending one knee to the ground and the other legs ankle into the bottom edge of the couch - it was bruised for at least a month. Again - Only me.
This morning I was quickly running out of time to get to work so I go to put my shoes on, slip on a magazine (they're very slippery fyi), knocked over half of a shelf of stuff and landed on my knee- painfully. I actually had to sit there for a second before being able to move. Now if it's in the perfect spot, it kind of burns. Only me.
I did just about the same thing last summer. I walked out of the bathroom (same scenario as this morning) and slipped on a blanket, sending one knee to the ground and the other legs ankle into the bottom edge of the couch - it was bruised for at least a month. Again - Only me.
2/19/12
Cars are dangerous...
As of yesterday, I have ran the side of my head into my car while getting into it 3 times...possibly more, I can't remember...
2/6/12
Evil drawers
Went to feed my cats this morning and didnt notice a drawer open when I went to pick up their bowls. Ive got a nice cut on my forehead.
2/2/12
Depth Perception
Half of me ran into a door frame today. Is it bad that my depth perception for those sorts of things is pretty awful?
2/1/12
Don't cry over spilt milk..
But crying over a sliced open finger is okay.
I decided the other day that I should maybe start a little blog about all the various ways I end up injuring myself. I considered the title "The ways I cut myself" until someone pointed out that it seemed to suggest something more intentional, though in reality I cut myself (unintentionally) a lot.
To start off...
- When I was 2, I fell off a table and broke my collar bone. We all like to jokingly blame my aunt.
- Once when I was shaving my legs I went too far down my ankle and filleted (improper use of french I'm sure there) a good inch of skin off of it.
- Last summer I slipped on a blanket on the floor and fell with one knee to the ground and the other legs ankle hitting the couch, probably bruising the bone.
- The day before last Thanksgiving, I was making pumpkin pies and cut myself first on a nail poking out of a board in the kitchen, then once on the food processor blades and then again on a knife...and I think one other time.
- A few weeks ago I was trying to get a bad part of a potato out and my hand slipped and I cut off a fair chunk of the side of my thumb with the potato peeler.
And the Grand Finale: Cutting myself with a potato
- A few days ago- again with a potato - I was just trimming off some bad parts with a really sharp knife. Given the earlier issue with a potato, I should have known better. The knife cut so quickly and forcefully through that my thumbnail went into the potato, peeling the skin from my nail off a bit - rather painful fyi. ....I believe I also maybe cut myself with a different knife shortly thereafter...
Many people call me talented. It seems that if there is a way to give myself a minor injury, it will probably happen sooner or later.
I decided the other day that I should maybe start a little blog about all the various ways I end up injuring myself. I considered the title "The ways I cut myself" until someone pointed out that it seemed to suggest something more intentional, though in reality I cut myself (unintentionally) a lot.
To start off...
- When I was 2, I fell off a table and broke my collar bone. We all like to jokingly blame my aunt.
- Once when I was shaving my legs I went too far down my ankle and filleted (improper use of french I'm sure there) a good inch of skin off of it.
- Last summer I slipped on a blanket on the floor and fell with one knee to the ground and the other legs ankle hitting the couch, probably bruising the bone.
- The day before last Thanksgiving, I was making pumpkin pies and cut myself first on a nail poking out of a board in the kitchen, then once on the food processor blades and then again on a knife...and I think one other time.
- A few weeks ago I was trying to get a bad part of a potato out and my hand slipped and I cut off a fair chunk of the side of my thumb with the potato peeler.
And the Grand Finale: Cutting myself with a potato
- A few days ago- again with a potato - I was just trimming off some bad parts with a really sharp knife. Given the earlier issue with a potato, I should have known better. The knife cut so quickly and forcefully through that my thumbnail went into the potato, peeling the skin from my nail off a bit - rather painful fyi. ....I believe I also maybe cut myself with a different knife shortly thereafter...
Many people call me talented. It seems that if there is a way to give myself a minor injury, it will probably happen sooner or later.
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